18x24 Arches hot press paper
Watercolours and Masquepen supernib
50 days, approximately 230 hours
- Closeup I ; Closeup II
- Work-in-progress shots
- Click to view first concept from June 2008
- Click to view second concept from July 2009
あがかえりみすれどはなはちりぬべし
When I turn to look, the flowers had all fallen away
It has been more than a year since my father passed away, and my grief has shifted to a new realm. Much to my surprise, a piece that I thought I would never revisit was actually calling for me to give it the attention it deserves.
The initial shock has passed; the briefest wash of understanding keeps coming and going.
"There is probably no more terrible instant of enlightenment than the one in which you discover your father is a man - with human flesh. "
- Frank Herbert, Dune
I owe so much to my husband `zerocomplex for the completion of this painting. Also, thank you my dear friends ^sphilr, `johnpaulthornton, *lolitaAgogo, `JurgenDoe and `synconi for taking an interest in the work-in-progress.
Thank you for looking
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I like the way how you've combined blues, purples, yellows and greens it really complements the theme it's own way, your understanding of anatomy and your constant motivation to improve is shown greatly here. Compared to your other attempts on prospective with your previous attempt on this piece that you did last year here you've taken the concept a little further by being a bit more daring by slightly changing the position of her face and her body.
I also like the expression on her face it gives off a sense of loneliness regret the part of "Lament, reprise" that really keeps me coming back to this piece is the eyes as the eyes I feel really give this piece a lot of impact.
It's a very emotional piece which is why I like it so much and I hope to see more of your work in the future
This work is so mature, so passionately evocative, that I found myself initially looking at it with an overall feeling, seeing it with my heart instead of my eyes, seeing it as a whole piece instead of first examining the details. This, to me, is indicative of true art. A piece, that upon viewing, grips the observer with instantaneous, powerful feeling in some way.
And for me, the feeling was indeed both strong and instantaneous. The viewer immediately understands that the subject is coming to grips with a painful piece of her life; she is holding it out, away from her, really looking at it and addressing it fully despite the exquisite agony it's causing, and in doing so is also examining her own life, her frailty and mortality, but instead of it being a negative thing, she is gaining strength from doing so. There is great pain here, but great hope as well.
The gossamer vibrancy of the pigments at the top of the painting, the spherical wisps of circuitous brightness, the bright white of the sharp characters serve to leaven the pain of the piece with hope and possibility.
The blurred and fading lower part of her chest and arm evokes a feeling of "I don't know who I am, I am lost" as it slowly graduates into a sharp breast bone evocative of severe pain and gauntness of spirit; this feeling gradually comes into contrast with the sharper, stronger, more meticulous detail of the hand, flower, hair, and especially the very focused eyes. The new feeling, where the viewer's eyes are focused, is now "I am learning who I am, growing stronger as I deal with this painful piece of my life". She can now look at the pain almost dispassionately as she examines what it means to her and how to learn from it.
She may be completely supine at this moment we're viewing her, but we get the sense that it's no longer due to the crippling pain that initially cast her to the floor. Now she rests there intentionally, starting to relax from her ordeal as she reflectively meditates, and very soon, she will sit up and find ways to take in long needed nourishing affection, allowing the happiness of new connections and the love of old ones to refresh her soul, filling that love-deprived breastbone back out to a healthy robustness.
Once she has puzzled out this piece a bit more, she will then rise again, as if a phoenix; although forever changed, she still still the same. But now she has allowed her pain to help her grow; she is stronger, calmer, more mature; patience and sympathetic understanding now lie gently like a balsam over her wounds, helping soothe her heart. She has become a better being for having spent time in this personal, painful, examination in which she has now come to understand that each ending brings new beginnings; she now knows that in the breast of sorrow, painful experiences can also beat with love, and hope, for us all.
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